Week 3

I Will save my work. I Will save my work. I Will save my work.

GRRR!

Tomorrow having a breast MRI. I got paperwork describing the procedure and it sounds like some sort of torture porn. Bleh. But, since mom had cancer, guess that qualifies me, and, yeah, it's a good thing. If it can catch anything sooner or at all, versus not, then, I'm lucky to have it done.

Afterward, meeting my girl at her house in Narragansett, where she's lived this whole sophomore year, and she's moving out next week and I'm only NOW getting down there to see it. I feel bad. But, up til recently, this has not been a stellar year+. Luckily for me, she's a forgiving soul and I get to make it up to her.

Had a good session with S today. She didn't make me jump rope and whatnot. I reallly gotta tell her how bad my knees are. They're pretty much in constant pain these days, and not just from the workouts. She gave me new homework, 2 things, for Wed.
Have to come up with 10 seasonal (for May) recipes, for both my area and hers.
And I have to find/come up with an exercise each for biceps, triceps, shoulders and chest. And DO it for her!
Yikes.

I have to say though... this, so far, as I knew it would be, is such an extraordinary experience. First of all, it's HER. I've admired her for years, bought her books, watched her on tv, followed what she's done over the years. Even had the opportunity due to strange timing to go to a taping of her tv show back in '93 when I'd spent my summer off from IU driving to Orange County, CA to nanny for a couple months, and somehow I discovered this was going on and got myself a ticket and figured out how to get to Burbank.

I'm still pinching myself though that this is actually happening, to Me. Things like this don't happen to me. I'm not even worried, at the moment, about possibly failing. That's not on my radar. I knew when I first heard about this that I would do anything and everything she said, and over 2 full weeks in, I have, and will. To my ability. These knees and my back are really hindering me to a very annoying extent.
Weird things have been happening though, in recent memory. First I made the online acquaintance of B.G., who turned out to be kind of a... well... let's just say, he's not an easy person to know. Then I actually met, also online, A.L. The story of that, connected to my mom, is just weird beyond words. And a story for another day.
But now to know S....

I've got thoughts rumbling around, but am too tired to get them down now... will soon.
As well as some results of doing what she said to do in my time away from her. One story is a bath. The other is a walk in the woods. will pick those up next time....

GODDAMMIT

fucking didn't save my fucking work and now a whole post is fucking gone

DAMMIT

will try to recover and post something new soon

Week 1

So... I'm in. ALL in. Thought about it, talked about it, planned for it... and it's here, in full motion. Fully committed, no matter how hard.

Day 1 - Saturday.
Followed preliminary instructions - took measurements and photos - front side back. OY. That was painful. Supposed to 'bury' them somewhere to be unearthed later. When I get a scanner to print off the photos, I will. Til then, they're buried on my camera, which itself is buried.
Did 1 hour of cardio at gym on treadmill. The dreaded treadmill. My extra weight and poor posture at this point makes it VERY uncomfortable to even stand very long, let alone WALK for any length. But, I did it. Took one potty break @ 19 min.. but finished the hour.
And remembered to take the Power of the Pause.
Food - if I recall - meant to log it daily...
ate a small portion of ww pasta with Newman pasta sauce 2 hrs before.
dinner was a Chicken Burrito from Chipotle. believe I had a small bowl of organic ice cream with banana and smidge of chocolate.

Am supposed to eat 5 meals a day/2500 cal... Will take conscious thought - "Obsession with food!" to get it right... til i get THERE, will make the best choices I can with my Food Rules:
80% grains/beans/veg/fruit, and 20%, if wanted, of ORGANIC meat and/or dairy.
Oh. I believe I also made myself a big 'omelet' of 3 organic eggs, 1 green pepper, 10 oz mushrooms and 1 tomato, with a smidge of cheese, along with 2 english muffins with Earth Balance - LUV - and peach preserves.

Day 2 - Sunday. 1 hour at the gym again. They got new ellipticals - I REALLY liked the old ones, but thought I'd try these. Hated it. Did 30 min though. Finished the hour on the treadmill. Both days using the aggressive interval timing, roughly, of walking 4 minutes, running 15 seconds, etc etc.
As my fucking knee is fucking useless - well, not completely, I CAN walk, more or less, and I am grateful for that - but I can't run on it with this weight, so held a lot of my weight on the side rails and just got my legs to go thru the running motions.
Food... hmm.. I think I had a bowl of raisin bran and Silk milk before the gym.
Dinner again was Chic. burrito from Chipotle. Calculated calories to be about 1200.
again, small bowl of ice cream, with 2 bananas.

Day 3 - Monday. My first day with S!
Had big bowl of oatmeal a couple hours before. 2 c water, 1 c oats, cook.. add 1 chopped apple, mix in honey and cinnamon, add smidge of soy milk.
YOGA!
Omg. After not even knowing if it would happen - it DID, and... well, didn't exactly kick my ass, though it DID make me sweat bullets. Had SUCH back pain to start, but the movement did seem to smooth it out some. Very encouraging to hear such positive comments on my form, etc. I give myself, my body, so much hate talk, and have for years... kinda hard to process. But still appreciated.
Oh, and of course, my period started. 28 days, on the dot. No menopause here yet!

Dinner was DELISH.

Potato-Leek Soup With White Beans, Ham And Dill

from www.cookthink.com
serves 4-6
As many items as poss., esp meat and dairy - Organic

4 pounds leeks (6-8 medium), cut into 1/2-inch ribbons
4 tablespoons unsalted butter
1 15-ounce can cannellini beans, rinsed and drained - should have used at LEAST 1 more can... next time I make it will have bushels more!
1 1/2 pounds russet potatoes (2 large), peeled and cut into a 1/2-inch dice

1-2 lbs of carrots - I added this ingredient, and will prob. double this amount next time. Will also add celery next time.

5 cups low-sodium chicken broth (I mixed org. chic and veg broth)
1 teaspoon olive oil
1/2 pound cooked ham, cut into 1/4-inch cubes
2 tablespoons heavy cream (used Silk)
1 tablespoon red wine vinegar
4 tablespoons chopped fresh dill

1. Prep all the ingredients. Cut off and discard the dark green top part of the leek. Cut off and discard the root. Split the leek in half lengthwise. Rinse it well under cold water, making sure to separate each layer with your fingers to remove any hidden soil. Cut the leek crosswise into 1/2-inch ribbons.

2. Melt the butter in a large saucepan over medium heat. When the foam subsides, add the leeks and season with a light sprinkling of salt and white pepper.

3. Cover the pan and cook, stirring occasionally, until the leeks are soft, 8-10 minutes. Add the white beans, potatoes and broth, and bring the soup to a boil. Reduce the heat to medium-low and simmer until the potatoes are tender, 10-15 minutes.

4. Meanwhile, heat the olive oil in a large nonstick sauté pan over medium-high heat. When it’s hot and shimmering, add the ham and leave it alone to brown well, 1-2 minutes. Stir and brown on all sides, several minutes more. Remove the pan from the heat and set it aside.

5. When the potatoes are tender, remove the soup from the heat and break the potatoes up a little bit with a wooden spoon. (If you want, you can also puree the soup with an immersion blender.) Stir in the cream, vinegar and dill and add more salt and pepper to taste.

6. Ladle the soup into bowls. Divide the ham evenly among the bowls and sprinkle each with more dill.

Also made this to go with:

DAIRY FREE CORNBREAD, from www.wholefoodsmarket.com

Serves 16

This simple corn bread recipe can be used as the basis for any cornbread stuffing recipe.

Ingredients

1 1/2 cups yellow cornmeal
1 1/2 cups flour
6 tablespoons granulated sugar - oops! next time will use agave or maple syrup
1 tablespoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon salt
1 1/2 cups plain soy milk or rice milk
2 large eggs
1/2 cup corn oil

Preheat oven to 400°F. Oil a (9-inch) square baking pan and set it aside.

In a large bowl, whisk together cornmeal, flour, sugar, baking powder, baking soda and salt. In a second large bowl, whisk together soy milk, eggs and oil. Add milk mixture to cornmeal mixture and stir until just combined.

Pour batter into prepared pan and bake until golden brown and a toothpick inserted in the middle comes out clean, 25 to 30 minutes.

Nutrition

Per serving (about 2oz/65g-wt.): 180 calories (80 from fat), 9g total fat, 1g saturated fat, 25mg cholesterol, 300mg sodium, 23g total carbohydrate (1g dietary fiber, 5g sugar), 4g protein

YUM YUM YUM for both.

Day 4 - Tuesday.

Made my modified Oat Pancakes from Body for Life cookbook, by Bill Phillips. Here's how I do it:

1 c egg whites (buy in carton)

1 c org. cottage cheese

1/2 c + steel cut oats

1/2 c + irish oats

honey, cinnamon, smidge of vanilla

BLEND. Cook. Add 1 c + fresh or frozen blueberries on top, with Earth Balance and syrup.

A bit heavy on the stomach, but given enough time to digest, it's fine. I had it about 4 hours before my workout.

1 hour cardio, on the treadmill. Really tried to adjust my posture as told by S. Belly button in/rotating butt in (sway back is sooo painful), shoulders down... nose breathing was challenging. Perhaps later.. right now, doing cardio, when it's such a struggle to even stay upright, no can do.

However, one positive note - I did the whole hour without stopping @ the 19 min. mark.

Michael did it with me tonight. He found it challenging as well. He's not doing this 100% with me, but following somewhat. He has a fair amount to lose as well... and nearing 40, he's got to consider more health ramifications for holding onto old/bad habits.

Dinner was soup and cornbread leftovers. Yum.

After that, cleaned 5 litter boxes - exhausting. Shower and bed felt awesome. Oh, another bowl of ice cream - small amount! - but with 2 bananas. My fruit-addicted Schnauzer appreciates me sharing it. :)

Now I need to finish my homework...

Here's what is outstanding:

Make list of crap food I like, and find whole food version.

choc chip cookies

pizza

french fries

mashed potatoes

moo goo gai pan

pasta carbonara

french toast

Make list of things I WANT - nothing about health.

I want to do a triathlon.

I want my thighs to stop rubbing together.

I want to be able to order a cute outfit from a catalog, in a single digit size.

I want to wear small, cute underwear.

I want to get up from anything - a chair, the floor.. - with no struggle and flow with grace.

I want wear a 2 piece when we go on vacation and feel sexy.

I want to wear sleeveless tops and not be self-conscious.

...........................

Daily, 1 line - my Truth.

Day 1 - I am learning how to walk all over again.

Day 2 - Need to be prepared to live a whole life.

Day 3 - Dreams can come true, but you must put action to the dream.

Day 4 - I think I really might be able to come back from this (from fat, to fit...)

Day 5 - I'm beginning to feel a physical shift in my posture and how I hold my body.

Summer fruit recipe - not salad.. a compote or something..

Sugar-Free Fresh Berry Pie

from Laura Dolson, www.About.com

I make this pie with blackberries, but I think it would work great with raspberries. (Actually, my very favorite is the olallieberry, a variety of blackberry which grows near the West Coast of the United States.) The filling is mostly uncooked, with just a glaze for the fresh berries. I use the almond pie crust for this recipe.

Ingredients:

• 1 almond pie crust, baked (see link above)

• 1 quart (4 cups) blackberries
• dash of salt
• 3/4 cup water
• 4 teaspoons corn starch
• 1 Tablespoon butter (optional, but recommended) (*Earth Balance)
  
• Sugar substitute to taste - about 3/4 cup (per a comment on the orig. recipe, I'm going to experiment, trying 1/2 C honey and 1/4 C blackstrap molasses, or perhaps some agave..)
  
• also adding per above suggestion, the zest of one lemon and 1 t of cinnamon.

Preparation:

1) Mix the water, one cup of berries, salt, and sweetener in a saucepan (it should be big enough to eventually hold all the berries). Bring the mixture to a boil and cook for 2 to 3 minutes. Berries should be softening and the liquid berry-colored.

2) Whisk cornstarch into mixture. Make sure it is fully dissolved. Cook until mixture darkens and clarifies (in other words, most of the lightness from the cornstarch goes away).

3) Add butter, and stir until melted. Add the rest of the berries, and stir until coated with the glaze.

4) Pour into baked shell and chill.

Makes 8 servings. Serving suggestion: top with whipped cream flavored with a bit of vanilla and sweetener.

Nutritional Information: Each serving has 5.5 grams effective carbohydrate plus 6 grams fiber, 5 grams protein, and 189 calories.

Low Carb Almond Pie Crust

This is a very easy pie crust to make. It's great with the sugar-free blackberry pie. This works best for a 9" pie pan. If you have an 8" one, the crust will be a little thicker, or you can cut back on the ingredients a bit.

Ingredients:

• 1 and 1/2 cups almond meal or almond flour
• 3 tablespoons melted butter
• Artificial sweetener equal to 3 tablespoons sugar (I will change this to honey or agave)
  

Preparation:

Heat oven to 350 F. Melt the butter (if the pie pan is microwave safe, melt the butter in it) and mix the ingredients up in the pan and pat into place with your fingertips.

Bake for about 10 minutes until the crust is beginning to brown. After 8 minutes, check every minute or so, because once it starts to brown it goes quickly.

Nutritional Information: The whole pie shell has 11 grams effective carbohydrate plus 17 grams fiber and 30 grams protein.

Cold salad with barley recipe

Barley Salad with Fresh Mint

from www.wholefoodsmarket.com

Serves 4 to 6

Few foods say "spring" better than mint. The color, texture and flavors of red bell pepper, green onions, pearled barley and fresh mint and basil makes this a consummate spring salad that stands well on its own or served on half an avocado or papaya. It also works well as an accompaniment to grilled fish or barbecued tofu or tempeh.

Ingredients

3 cups water
1 cup pearled barley
1/2 cup chopped green onions
1/2 cup diced red bell pepper - I will at least double this
1/4 cup flat-leaf parsley leaves, chopped
1/3 cup basil leaves, chopped
2 tablespoons mint leaves, chopped
1/4 cup avocado oil or canola oil
1 clove garlic, minced
1 to 2 tablespoons freshly squeezed lemon juice - will double per recommendations
Sea salt and freshly ground pepper

Method

In a saucepan, combine water and barley. Bring to a boil, reduce heat to low and simmer until barley is tender, 40 to 45 minutes. Drain barley and set aside.

Place green onions, red pepper, parsley, basil and mint in a large bowl. Add cooked barley and toss to combine.

In a small bowl, whisk together oil, minced garlic and lemon juice. Season to taste with salt and pepper, then drizzle over barley salad, stirring to combine well. Taste and adjust seasoning with salt and pepper. Serve at room temperature or cold.

Nutrition

Per Serving (74g-wt.): 210 calories (90 from fat), 10g total fat, 1g saturated fat, 4g protein, 29g total carbohydrate (6g dietary fiber, 1g sugar), 0mg cholesterol, 200mg sodium

iPod playlist

Alejandro, Born this Way, Bad Romance, Just Dance, Lovegame, Paparazzi, Poker Face, Telephone, - Lady Gaga

The Cup of Life - Ricky Martin

Crazy in Love - Beyonce

DJ Got Us Fallin' in Love - Usher

Hung Up (album) - Madonna

I Got That Boom Boom - Britney

I Gotta Feeling - Black Eyed Peas

Lose My Breath - Destiny's Child

Love Lockdown - Kanye West

Love the Way You Lie - Rihanna

Me Against the Music - Britney and Madonna

Never Again - Kelly Clarkson

Outrageous - Britney

Sexyback - Justin

Stronger - Kanye

Take Me Out - Franz Ferdinand

Toxic - Britney

need to add more Madonna back in, and BritBrit, and new Gaga

Day 5 - Wednesday

Got to sleep late, so slept late.. had to make myself get up around noon and had to scurry to get in my fuel before my 2:00 appt with S. Had some leftover oats from the other morning, and 2 english muffins with earth balance and a bit of peach preserves.

Yoga - awesome today. New moves. HARD moves, esp with the dumbbells. But all the wonderful instruction is helping me become mindful of so many things I never think about, like my posture, and my different body parts, and most importantly, my breathing. Maintaining the even flow of breath, in and out my nose, no matter what I'm doing.

Had to go to dentist to check out my tongue - spot I noticed months ago isn't healing. I think it's just from biting it, and then re-re-re-re biting it or something. But am going to oral surgeon to make sure.

Then, grocery shopping for a few things - dinner tomorrow, which will be a delish looking thing I saw on Alexis Stewart's blog, which she got from Epicurious. Her eating is pretty much in line with what I'm doing now, so really need to go back thru her blogs and copy all the stuff that looks amazing. Already have several times. Will post here when I come across them again.

And also for some kidney beans etc - S. is going to give me ideas for ways to use them. Which reminds me, need to go put them in water right this fucking minute before I forget, to soak overnight.

Oh, and then dinner was again Chipotle. I really hope I don't find out this is the wrong decision, but I think it's ok. Oh actually, had the chic. burrito AND 3 veg. tacos.

And - realized something. I'm relying too much on the "organic" ice cream at night. I need to make it more of a special once a week thing, to look forward to.. not as part of my daily calories. While I am having 2 bananas, which is good, the banana to ice cream ratio is creeping outta control. So, instead, I should just start having ONLY the bananas! Duh! Cuz now I feel kinda bloated and uncomfortable, and that's exactly what I want to stop feeling.

HIGH PROTEIN OAT PANCAKES

24 oz org. cottage cheese
sm. container egg whites
big dollop of honey
1 T + cinnamon
splash of vanilla
2 1/2 c steel cut oats

blend.
it will completely fill the blender, but stir and blend as much as you can.
pour into bowl.
stir in 1 1/2 c Irish oats
let set while griddle heats to about 350 degrees.

mixture will be thick and chunky.

grease skillet w/ org. butter, scoop out 1/3 c mixture and cook, roughly 4-5 min one side then 2-3 on the other.

I got about 15 pancakes from this.

Day 6 - Food - pre-workout: large bowl of Raisin Bran with 2 bananas and organic milk.
post-workout: 4 oat pancakes w/ blueberries, EB and syrup